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Wednesday 10 March 2010

hey, its been awhile. i havent run out of thoughts, just got mightily distracted for a season. im going start writing again, somewhere new: mrrrmrrr.tumblr.com. drop by every once in awhile, lovs.

Wednesday 2 Sept 2009

did i cry, the morning your heart went still
like a dying sparrow exhaling in my hands?
did i lift my eyes from the quietness of your passing
to follow your flight skyward?

i remember with warm clarity only
the gentle weight of you and me sharing one breath.
we two children of the stars,
seeking authenticity in a stairwell refuge,
together peeking into the keyhole of summer,
curious, comforted and complete.

we slept, and secret smiles cut through our lips in defiance of the dawn.
the hand that should have held yours across years-
for four weeks led you from dream to invincible dream.

grief is a cruel moisture seeping into the woodgrain of somewhere deep
and unreachable inside my chest, building a rotting soldier, playing hero to a ghost.

somewhere inside your castle, now at a distance no phone line can cross,
can you who never lived to know betrayal
give forgiveness?

did i cry that morning
as i do now in these lonely absences
wondering why no one will let me follow you into the sun?

Tuesday 1 Sept 2009

cambodia is a land possessing of a gentle, gripping beauty, not in the manner of thailand's dramatic mountains and ragged sea lines, but in a stoic way that seems a little wearied by its bloody past.
we landed in phnom penh on thursday shortly after noon, and the next day began an epic sixteen-hr and 700km ride across mud, dust, portholes, crazied bike-chasing buffalos, sedate palaces, curious farmers and recluse kings to reach siem reap and back. i fell, and bloodied my elbow. we ate the hairy legs of a giant fried tarantula. we handled the glock 9mm pistol of a local military general. we were awed by angkor wat, resplendent against the khmer sun, but not as much as we were awed by the horrendous cambodian traffic, of which road rules are a mere polite inconvenience. motorists travel in all directions and speeds, and it is common to experience 6000lbs of hummer hurtling head-on towards you against the grain of general traffic, only to swerve decidedly into a side-alley seconds before making contact with your front fender. yet, helmets are only a fashionable option, and a shocking majority of road users come off the streets unscathed. from a singaporean, hats off to the cheerful, organized chaos! i'll be back again some day - by bike and not plane next time.

Thursday 25 June 2009

our weekends have been prostrate at the altar of dirt. round 3 of the enduro races is on aug 16 at nusajaya, after which i'll be flying to landmine wonderland - cambodia - for a dirtbike rampage! cambodia is great. fried tarantulas, monk-types, ancient relics, filthily cheap beer and the giant mekong catfish.

on monday the enduro boys and me spent a lazy evening at ahpiao's dirt garage listening to him tell stories of the old heroes and the days when a legal trail still existed in singapore. it reminded me of how much i value my freedom to run, and the wingspan to explore.

Sunday 31 May 2009

Gabby and the Wurm, Orion's Answer, Eden finds the Alderfish. in one fell swoop, the first 3 of the Gabriel series. i didnt think there were words to describe my feelings about Gab's story, so these, and the rest to follow, will be text-unaccompanied. you can see larger versions in the art section.

its been a thick 3 months. i've been busy riding, tumbling, learning and even hauled back a little race medal from malaysia. i believed i might never ride again with the same open heart as before the accident, but ive found that dirtbiking is the passion of my adult life, not discounting my art adventures.

i learnt that our bodies were made to be both horrifyingly fragile and magnificently resilient. a riding buddy took a horrible crash on a motorcross track single jump that shattered both thigh bones and half of his left hand. like many before him, we'll see him back on the dirt before we know it.

bird has been in and out of hospital with his heart troubles. we've both seen too much of the inner walls of nuh for a lifetime already.

Friday 6 March 2009

australia is full of awesome and odd animals that want to kill you. im just back from perth with bird, where i singlehandedly drove us some 700+km south through cold and rain and heat and kangaroo roadkill, and back up again. total mindrape!

Sunday 8 February 2009

if you needed my heart i guess i would pull out my riding boots and push these wheels out into the sun. i would roar across puddles and stones and muddy verticals, and fill my beating chest with all the love for life it can muster. when i am breathless and my heart swollen with joy and wonder, i will ride into the forever sky, to be with you ever after.

Monday 26 January 2009

xin nian kuai le!
on saturday i hit a rock at track practice and flew over my bike, giving myself a grade III (so say the american academy of neurology guidelines) concussion and a pretty amazing dose of amnesia. during the lost hours i must have danced with pink elephants in the dust of an old, old moon, because i came to asking everyone where the elephants went. i dont recall anything from the prata breakfast at 7am until the point where i awoke sitting in dirt with a bleeding shoulder and hadie rubbing my head into a strange state of docile confusion. my bike's handlebar was broken. my new shoulder tattoo, thank God, was intact. geesh, i hardly think my ang bao takings are going to cover the repair costs.

anyhows, ox-picious new year!

Sunday 4 January 2009

...and Happiness New Year!
sorry, that was all terribly belated; i resolve to have more astute social skills this year. the boys have been keeping me real busy over december getting back into dirtbike action. after the accident im starting from scratch, with a lighter, crazier bike. almost every weekend we're tumbling in and out of mud and grass like huge, hairy children.

i love you already, 2009.

Monday 1 December 2008

december is upon us, and already ive had a bellyful of november adventures.
petrina, jermberm and i got back from our phuket bike trip just weeks before political insanity crippled the airports. i took the ktm on my first serious trail since the accident, and survived with nothing worse than muddy panties. i had an emergency wisdom tooth extraction. i been on my first night trail and fishing trip, and caught nothing. heres a pre-christmas present (clik):

Monday 27 October 2008

my favourite accessories, ahh. royston and jakki are having a Moment on my bed. usually this happens while im napping, and i will swiftly awake with a face full of orange hair. or dog ass. putt the angry rabbit is recovering from her bladder stone, she's coping by kicking over her water bowl everytime i'm in the room, so that i have to go into her balcony to refill it and she can bite my toes. you'd think they'd have a little more sense of where they stand in the global food chain, huh.

my arm and fingers are healing good. cant swing a bat anytime soon, but can drive, ride and reach some awkward-to-scratch places. the mrrrbile's arrived for two weeks now, and i've clocked over 1000 in mileage and impressive petrol bills. i ripped out the seatbelts in the back to make room for speakers, and converted the whole thing into a mobile lounge bed thats so damn cosy i sometimes just park in shady spots and climb into the back for a nap. its the closest i can get to a caravan in singapore anyway, haha. but i still love my ktm!!! totally would hug it to sleep with 2T grease in my face if i could.

Friday 17 October 2008

alamak, so busy.

Sunday 28 September 2008

hooray! and im using that stick for physiotherapy, because my arm muscles have completed wilted and it feels almost prosthetic. BUT FABULOUSLY! i got on my bike again for the first time last week! i rode all the way from punggol back home with my fingers so numb i could hardly use the front brake lever. i'll take it easy for now, heal up abit more.

meanwhile, this should be coming in next week:

Thursday 11 September 2008

this is for pipi gallbladder!
i bought a pocket-sized suzuki every van that looks like a tissue box on wheels. when we test-drove it up a slope the engine shivered like a geriatric on hyper viagra. the suspension is shit. I LOVE IT. this is of course to placate my parents and convince them i'll lessen my bike riding ways. so it'll be the MRRRVAN on work days and the ktm for weekend play. yay!

Friday 29 August 2008

my beat up broken fingers are beginning to pick up the pen again. its slow, its painful, its a therapist's nightmare.

Wednesday 13 August 2008

i very much miss being able to scratch my armpit.

friends and family have dumped a whole lot of love on me. thank you! i now can open fruit stall. the moment i could walk (an unelegant sort of stumbling) i went to my mech's to see my bike, and that tough old monster is all good, with only the handlebar and front electricals smashed. insane! that machine took down three railings and its still going strong. going to be cheaper to fix sirius than to fix me.

i have surgery tommorrow morning for my fingers, and i have to fast tonight so that when they cut my fingers open, shit wont spill out. i fear GA, please keep me in prayer.

Friday 8 August 2008

sometimes the mothership makes jokes at your expense.
over the weekend i was at bike fest embarrassing myself happily on other people's ktms, and monday morning im lying in a pool of petrol, blood and tarmac bits, trying to pull myself away from the wreck with my left arm because all of the right side of my body suddenly cant seem to work.

825am along clementi road opp ngee ann poly, a red car cut into my lane from the left, so abruptly that i had to swerve into the railings to avoid him. he totally ignored my horn, and after the crash he sped off. eyewitnesses only got the numbers 2478. when they catch him im going to run him over with my wheelchair.

injury count: fractured right shoulder, 4th and 5th fingers of my right hand. railing puncture wounds in my right thigh. but thank God that im alive, and pissed. pissed people heal faster, and then they get latex costumes and beat the shit out of hit n run scumfaces.

Friday 1 August 2008

one day hadie monyet and i discovered the iphoto on my office mac.

wonder not, that IS a badly drawn penis on my forehead.

Tuesday 29 July 2008

back in singapore, and i've wasted no time drawing new oddities for my personal delight. more! many, manys more on the way. HEE.

this evening i went to the mech to fix my bike, and came back with a new ktm. technically its not MINE yet, because i'm only going to foot the bill next monday. wow, two powerful, powerful scramblers - and they're BOTH MINE. ahaha. i feel like vlad the impaler.

no, really. actually im selling my wr. good old sirius dogstar, he's been good to me but i think i need a machine thats way lighter and that bit more powerful. i love sirius, its heartbreaking to let him go. i know, and i havent even shown him off properly yet:

i can imagine sirius weeping machine tears downstairs now.

Sunday 20 July 2008

off to KL tommorrow morn for more illustration adventures. be back thursday night!

Wednesday 9 July 2008

rejected artwork. i've been busy drawing so many things that i havent the time to scan them in. also, my nose runneth. flu i think. last week the monyet took me on my first LEGAL trail at punggol since my p plate, and i took a tumble in sand amid man-height yellow grass. the weather was a dream, and you could see nothing manmade across the horizon - no hdb flats, no cranes, only a generous expanse of sky. we tore through the weeds and sailed over steep mounds, and as the wind ripped the laughter from our lips, i could think of no better time to be alive.

Thursday 26 June 2008

please come. i'll be sharing some of my stuff, alongside other artists, photographers, dancer, poets, painters and sculpturists who are probably far more amazing than i am. bring drink and food, if you will! and do not be late - chances are, i'm the first one up. CHERIE STAGEFRIGHT TAN! thankyou.

Sunday 15 June 2008

"when i woke up, i heard my last snore"
- dex, with look of gentle amazement, when i walked into the office this morning.

okay, so life is glowy happiness now that i am my own transport guru. but with a bike this tall and massive, every traffic light is one big wrestling match. my calves are going through the ten levels of burning hell because i have to balance the monster on tiptoe all the time. i think worse than running 2.4 in stilettos. but shit, I LOVE THAT MACHINE!

Wednesday HOORAY 11 June 2008

HOLY MOLY but is God good!! as of this hour i HAVE MY BIKE LICENSE. AND IN ONLY FOUR POINTS!!!!!!!! i think i'll step out and kiss some tarmac now!

Friday 6 June 2008

the great thing about this is that its expandable. imagine!

A Very Shiteous Monday. 2 June 2008

crapawfulfishcakeHELL, trying to get a bike license is like banging my head on a brick wall. everytime i fail i have to muster up the rara to book a new test date, go for practices and correct bad pronunciations of my name by lao beng instructors. the lao beng instructors are nicest. i like their gruff pep talks and fake threats.

but shit. so discouraging. im so ready to screw the law of the land and ride my scram anyway. OKLA OKLA I WONT LA.

if youre reading this pris, im so sorry i introduced you as 'girlfriend of jianping' last friday. see, my brain was having one of those post-wine cramps, and i was momentarily convinced that your name was PEACH (cos also got letter P), and at the same time i was also pretty sure you WERENT named Peach, and while the internal debate raged, my mouth prematurely ejaculated. youre my friend, and i would never forget your name! if it is punishment enough, i shamefully admit that once i called stanley 'jeremy' for a week. i am a beast, i AM!

okay last week i was sleep deprived because hadie monyet and i painted a giant mural plus a glass panel over 3 nights for publicis, and it was super because they pretty much let us freestyle whatever we want. i dont know if i can show you any good pictures because we only had our grubby phone cams.

Saturday 31 March 2008

unbelievable week. tell y'all bout it after the sleep compensation.

Marrrrrnday 5 March 2008

this one's called Corine, for gameaxis mag. i'll be making a short escape to phuket this weekend, will return with braids in my hair and sand in my undies.

Munnday 21 April 2008

yar ive been too busy, and photoshop is my best friend. here's a bro bono piece for pave (promoting alternatives to violence), with brilliant ad concept by roy from ogilvy. this isnt the FA because he'll probably tweak the layout and colors and such, but i cant wait to see it run. thanks, roy!

i was in kl for abit doing illustrations for maxis tvcs, where i discovered that living alone in swanky hotel rooms is scary, and that sleepwalking through kl international airport is not funny at all.

then i came back to singapore and failed my first bike tp last wednesday. o, the heartbreak!!

Wednesday 2 April 2008

Wednesday 19 March 2008

Tuesday 18 March 2008

Tuesday 11 March 2008

one of the cruelties in the loss of precious things, is that daily life remains obstinately unchanged despite; come morn, you will still rise under the same sun, your dog will still drag your undies out from the laundry bin and present them to unamused house visitors, your colleague at work will still not laugh at your jokes. it is as if your grief is so insignificant that the world at large pays no heed.

but you will wonder with vague horror at how much this sudden absence of the precious thing hurts, at how much pain the heart can endure without exploding.

Sunday 2 March 2008

the cheesy stickers will have to go, naturally. some decals of my own and perhaps a change of headlights and it's good to go, barring the minor inconvenience of me not having a license yet. sirius dogstar! may it always bring me home safe.

i be sneaking off during lunch tommorrow to handle the transfer matters. registering it under the monyet's name first of course, until i'm legal. WOOTMYFIRSTBIKEWITHMYVERYOWNSAVINGS!

Thursday 28 February 2008

its good to be alive. on friday i superglued a greenbean to my bellybutton. on tuesday night it slipped off in the shower and went down the drainage, but i have plenty more beans wrapped in a tissue on my desk. the air is still sweet, the colors are still bright, and i have time for tommorrows.

tommorrow: i am viewing bikes. about done with my lessons.

Thursday 21 February 2008

Wednesday 20 February 2008

Wednesday 13 February 2008

we lost borbor this afternoon to a bad bladder infection. putt was rattling the balcony grills so viciously this morning that i climbed in to investigate, and found borbor crumpled in a corner dribbling bloody urine. i spent a quarter of the day and my bank account at the vet's, but soon after i left for the office the surgery rang me up. they'd opened his bladder and found patches of dead tissue and little holes, through which toxins had crept and ate at the other organs. and so on valentine's eve the world become one white bunny less.

i rode up the expressway, where grief could be swallowed by the wind and bike exhaust.

i came home, and watched putt ignore me, but not after she'd thoroughly investigated my pants to be sure i hadnt hidden her love inside.
i guess rabbits also dream about those who are gone.

Friday 1 February 2008

Saturrrday 19 January 2008

im leaving for bali this evening, and i'll be there for a week. while packing i found an old bottle of ralph lauren that my ex roomie gave me. i've never been one for perfume, but it smells real good. later i leaned out of my window to draw, and watched two cats in red collars trot after the security guard on his estate rounds. pentat! my dogs dont even follow that close. they run like monsters, and i am often yelling and running after them, like an attacking octopus.

Sunday 6 January 2008

on new year's eve i was at pipi gallbladder's house, wearing plastic bags on my feet so i could step on her sofa. merry hohoho and all that!

in the last month of 07, i have
1) begun bike lessons (24/11 to be anally exact), and have burnt tarmac and skin speedily until stage 4.01. four more lessons to pass until i can sit for the tp! i am a 2 stroke engine, i am.
2) skinny dipped at changi beach. mooned the moon.
3) decided on a spend limit of 10 dolla a day til i can pay off my scrambler

optimism is the face of 08. mrrrkt!

Sunday 30 December 2007

if you made me
to play with fire, then shelter me from the heat.

Thursday 20 December 2007

once we were young
cigarettes warmed our fingers and delight chilled our caution
i asked 'is this the train to freedom bay?'
it was the way you cradled the dying swallow, reminded me of my mother.
we traded: your love for my tommorrows.
once we were young
and a cigarette warmed your fingers and caution chilled your heart.
freedom called my name like a child i lost, on a day in december
then i set my feet to follow the tracks, and all i took was a crimson feather.

Sunday 16 December 2007

i had a smashing birthday. it involved cupcakes, people setting fire to my drinks, and someone telling me that i'm actally 23, not 24. because my math is very bad and i only have ten fingers. witness the home club love!

my word, i LOVE you guys.

Sunday 2 December 2007

the anniversary of gab's passing. some hours after midnight i was back where i left you, and where i havent been since the day. i left you a note, folded, pushed under the root of a shrub. if the silence has taken you then i hope it takes me too.


Monday 26 November 2007

some fun doodling for work. rockstars making fun of rockstars!

my meats are aching because the bikes at bbdc are heavier than elephant shit. but i must boast- i am so far kicking boy asses at circuit because i have secretly practiced on hadie's bike in the office carpark. neyhehhehhehheh. behold the warhorse of my dreams! ah, freedom, thy name is white KTM.

Monday 12 November 2007

word, but is speed my new drug! graff boys hadie and hairy (my biker heroes) have been freewheeling me around the country, and are they WICKED on two wheels. i've been gurgling in joy the past 3 hours, having just bought my first speeddeeeemon helmet from jalan besar for 50 bucks. the shop owner's name is ah boy. truly, it says that on his namecard.

now, save money and shoot for a bike license.

then, perhaps a honda cbr 125.

Tuesday 23 October 2007

lately i have been unreasonably happy.
on the morning we finished the mural i sat at the steps of the building being subjected to the boys' emissions. they are a cancer ward in sneakers. the sky was in mute ecstasy.
i hadnt a sleep in some 40 hours but life seemed unbearably pleasant, and our young sun was slowly warming the sky. i liked the way my acrylics looked different now by dawn. we could live forever in paints and inks and pylox, and nurse our forever dreams on coffeeshop brew.

we're plotting our next project but first there are sleepdebts and workpiles to overcome.

Friday 12 October 2007

heres us muralling. these boys are some of my favourite nonsense monkeys that have ever monkeyed 3 storeys above ground on a rickety boomlift.

18 nights, 13 artists and countless caffeines later, the scape youthcentre has a new skin. join us for the unveiling of the largest mural in singapore: 18 oct, 10am, scape. (113 somerset road, opp cineleisure)

earlier monologues