Friday-im-broke 3 November 2006

putt will wake up this evening without her uterus, and i’ll be there to receive her back into the familial folds with love and bananas. catastrophe! we’ve all been seeing too much of the vet lately, what with russ’ pancreatic problems, jakki’s blood test, borbor’s diarrheoa and sniffles, and putt’s too-ripe-for-my-happiness womb and urinary tract infection. oh, the bills. i might have to sell the hair on my head. people in the fetish business will then buy it for exorbitant sums and make pubic wigs.

Wednurseday 25 October 2006

i was dreaming about bridges. we crossed one with a huge expanse of still, shallow water underneath it, and there were six tigers the size of buses lying just below its surface. it was remarkable, the enormous beasts rippling and shining under a pool less than a foot deep. i whispered to my companion, but he saw no tigers. i shivered under the melting sun, the animals cold, perfect and beautiful with the steel indifference of a loaded gun.

Munnnday 16 October 2006

my second animation effort since porridge-eating-girl, and its evolving into something quite strange. haha!

my baby rabbit borbor has been diarrheoaing, and likely because he's been nicking carrots from puttputt (who's quite liberal about who she shares her food dish with). so ive been washing his bottom in the kitchen sink. HAHA.

Friday 13 October 2006

hoohoo! i collected my namecards from the printer's.

my driving test was SHIT. everything fine as a bean on the route, and then i roll backwards down a slope into the stinking bowels of immediate failure.

Tuesday 10 October 2006

happy days! russ was discharged last night and is back to his job as the grumpy greedy king of the house. thanks for the prayers, y'all! yessum, the family breathes a sigh of relief.

some people are hams, we are the whole pig!

Monday 9 October 2006

russ battles pancreatitis in an animal hospital. he refused food and started vomiting a day earlier, seeking out my lap for comfort with unusual zeal. i put him in my room with the rabbits, figuring him too weak to try to eat them anyway. i watched him through most of the night. on sunday morning we took him to mount pleasant.

the vet found blood tests expedient. needle after needle he pressed his whiskered face into my shirt, but didnt protest. on my lap i felt his quiet trembles ebb in the waiting room. the nurse returned with lab results, and administered a clavulox drip. i saw my boy into a back room, let an unfamiliar cage door close upon him, whispered brief words of teary comfort, and walked away from a questioning, raised paw that said louder than the spoken word- dont leave me. he never made a sound, but in his brown eyes made almost opaque by age, i saw the dignified bewilderment, and it was a twisted knife in my heart.

as he watched me disappear down unfamiliar corridors, for russ that trusting gaze out of the dark must have sounded a desperate cry against abandonment and loneliness, which only his friend could not seem to hear.

Wednesday 4 October 2006

o, copyright. i need a soundtrack of local bands for the animation, but am penniless. i very much doubt nyc will pay for it either. GRAAA!!

my brother has been packed off to tekong, where he will likely discover the meaning of life outside clubbing and girls. army nowadays is too lax, i say. bmt confinement for five days! a boy can save himself from the military's tranny barber by shaving his head at EC house! i have ovaries, complain what. so the house is a little lonelier for my ma, who cried seeing the boy off on the first day, and who didnt want him to have a bunk beside the window because "can see ghost". to this my dad said he'd like his son to join the commandos. he bought my brother 30-day day-and-night-no-need-to-take-out contact lens for field camp. my WORD. might as well buy toilet roll with snoopy cartoon for him also.

im heftily weighing the idea of adopting another rabbit. if you know of one that needs a good rescue/home, sound me out.

Friday 29 September 2006

heres a week to end all weeks. incredible deadlines, shockingly bad news on the fyp front and terrible, terrible jaw-clenching stomach upsets. you know theres some terror coming your way when you spend MONTHS of waking hours drawing and photoshopping your limpid ass off, only to have your client call to say that they might be hiring a professional agency and the project might be RIP. the suspense is murdering me, and our delicately plotted timeline.
nothing to do but to wait on the comfort of an old friend.

i also came to the rather ninny-fied realization that i have a driving test perilously near – 13 oct. CRUD!!!

the kangaroos are playing a four song set at school this wed evening. be there be bop. im grieved that all the jamming hasnt cured my hiccuppy drum rolls.

anyhow, i’ll be at youthpark tomorrow filming graffiti artists and the doubleyellowline bands for my animation piece. whup!

Wednesday 27 September 2006

IF the nyc doesnt pull out on our project in the end.

Monday 18 September 2006

discontent, ive stirred you into the heated dregs of milo powder and sipped you under dawn's first. the hart never learns. it is too hopeful.

Friday 15 September 2006

the bandmate is over for a visit, picking at rubber bits on my tv remote – nubbles are all that are left after putt ate the buttons. i am home rarely now, so a rabbit’s good company for nights. when i do go back, and roll around with my russdog i always notice how old and stiff he’s become, and i know i will miss him like crazyhell when our time is up. to us he will always be the quietest puppy in the store, the pup who cries when we put him into the cage (dumped it in the end), who conspires with jakki to steal the cucumbers off ma’s meditating face, who is as hostile to strangers as he is possessive of his family. growing up with animals as constant associates in the household meant that we all learnt to give love and safety to smaller things even when we felt there was none coming to us. spectaaaacular.

rui gave me a guitar to paint, goodys goods goods

Sunday 10 September 2006

dear gun gun- YA I KNOW, RIGHT! that visa commercial was why i chose the topic! ali ba ba!!!

my last hall dnd is a week away and already folks are asking what i plan to wear. a gunny sack, i say. or a penguin mask and a whole lot of optimism. the looming spectre of my expulsion from the comfortable uterus of education is making me sick. puttputt is learning to poo in the most shocking places, dammit. imagine if my dogs could had the jumping capacity of a rabbit. incredible.

Tuesday 5 September 2006

rabbit thinks his name is CEASE AND DESIST; i've been shouting that at him too liberally. hes grown some, and been producing a shockingly large amount of waste for something that eats dried pellets, lettuce and random items of furniture. i packed him into a little plastic box and brought him home for a visit sunday, and my dogs raised bloodthirsty hell. jakki nicked his lettuce, and russ tried to taste his poo. dad and mom are quite smitten though.

anyhow, if you catch ads that have racial stereotyping or tokenism, lemme know. im direly short of material for my presentation.

Sunday 3 September 2006

pipi gallbladder has taken flight!
somebarrrrddy make me feel safe and warm, because ive saved all the lullabies.

Tuesday 29 August 2006

fyp is driving me kuku.

Monday 21 August 2006

rooftop is always a good place to gig. happy or otherwise, you can fling things off the side, very rokstar.

my need to give love to small, helpless furry animals much starved by living away from home, i spent a month deliberating and then got a rabbit. i named him (or she, we'll find out proper in a couple months) ritzman putra, for the most fantastic frontman in the world. puttputt for short, and quite a prophectic moniker. ive spent a week clearing debris and bunnypoo in his wake.

Monday 14 August 2006

a massively grumpy first week of school.
my grand fyp plans have fallen through, for want of group ambition and a rich relative charitable to the tune of 20 K. no matter. it merely says the graphic novella is an ambition best made only my own. ive been taking out my aggression on muruku, milanos and the like.

osimus has gone to a quiet death. in the wake of her ashes ive gathered up a new project called HORDES OF KANGAROOS. we've been decently prolific and will be debuting 4 originals for your kind dissection this wednesday at the Stage One gig. catch it!

if i need saving from anything this academic year, God, it is mediocrity.

Sunday 6 August 2006

into the third night i acquired the beginnings of a viral attack, and by thursday afternoon my throat was a dry, rusty pipe into my stomach. i slept through initiation and after some drama on the doorstep, hauled myself to the doctor for anti-histamines and lozenges. ive been eating honey straight from the bottle.

that’s that for the last hall foc of my university career. if i don’t cut it as a wandering artist i’ll soon have to prep for the random cruelty of the corporate world.
well then, school starts.

(friend: you make me so mad, but i love you deeply still.)

Monday 31 July 2006

action stations!
the pleasant, sweaty buzz of orientation camp has come upon us again. my last one, wont be pushing it too hard this time. remember two years ago, when the construction pole fell on my head in sentosa and i had to be golf-carted speedily to the island's medical center with blood streaming down my face? i didnt have stitches in the end, but the hair still doesnt grow over that bit of scalp.

Friday 28 July 2006

i cant sleep without dreaming. sometimes it funny, when i shout myself awake on a bus, or sleepwalk and wake up in front of the fridge. last week i had one about giant war pigs in a zoo, the size of double decker buses. they were eating small african children for tourists' amusement.

once in abit dreams die. you just grieve for a season and wait for God to give you something better.

Sunday 23 July 2006

above the neon
i know you’ve gone on, beyond vanity and aeroplane pieces
astronauts and angels,
further than stories.
from your curious paper citadel, always rushing to the higher skies
you could watch a madly spinning world
where you know my sweet love never dies
it only will not reach you, in your higher skies
i wish for you
fiercer than your lonely child's bravery.

Wednesday 19 July 2006

im moving. ive hauled my art stuff, guitar, lappie, tv and some clothes over to the new room, which i found to be distressingly inhabited by black ants. work continues, im doing a new ana pedal. here are some bass fuzzes which were fun to ink

Monday 17 July 2006

the traffic police is crockshit. since this morning ive been revisiting the same bunch of papers with the words 'offence', 'criminal' and my mom's name on them, feeling like the most frustrated, impotent child on earth. remember some months back when a taxi stopped suddenly in front of our car, my mom had to brake and an elderly motorcyclist crashed and crumpled into our bumper? my mom figured all the noise and shaking was only something large falling over in the boot, so she drove off. at the junction, someone told her, and she went back to help, see him to hospital and made a police report. now theyve commanded her to pay a monstrous fine for two offences:
1. careless filtering (HULLO you stupid police camels, it was EMERGENCY BRAKING! filter what filter????)
2. hit and run (the motorcyclist HIT OUR CAR and only because he was tailgating. my mom didnt have a clue!! and anyway she came back!!!!! incontinent shellfish banana detectives PLEASE READ my mom's statement and her CONSISTENT interview reports, and then come and tell me you have witnesses to the contrary)

ive been making calls the whole day. im fighting a ridiculous, doomed battle with bureacracy. we've sent letters of appeal. theyre telling us to do it again when those only get rejected. stupid, stupid injustice. stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid blind money-grabbing idiots of traffic policemen.

Saturday 15 July 2006

i am fixing brunch and listening to the cleaning auntie make friendly noises to the cat. it is bearboy’s stupid song that’s playing on loop in my head:
wo shi mao miao miao miao
wo shi miao mao mao mao
(i am hair, cat cat cat
i am cat, hair hair hair)
…
why does sara lee claim its butter pound cake is ‘all purpose’? might it serve in the stead of tampons? be used to beat an armed robber into submission? save the armadillo from extinction? comb my hair? aiyar. wicked, wicked ms lee.

last night the gallbladders were at baybeats, watching tiramisu, which is still by far and away the most fantastic band in the world. ritzman putra does the most delicious drag this side of the equator, i say. tommorrow, back for more.

Wednesday 12 July 2006

mm. i am no longer a manicure virgin. i am poised on the cusp of fashionableness, gently prodded there by a parent hellbent on bimbo shock therapy. it is a scary place. my mom has booked massages for us both tommorrow in town. mashed pumpkins! massages! yoga! gluten-free fish!
it is not all that bad, except i condemn the pumpkin and the yoga.

Monday 10 July 2006

spectacular! finally, some redecoration. if you trawl your cursor over various bits, like say the bloke's nipples, you'll find ive hidden some words in tidy places.

before he left for hk bearboy made me the grumpy recipient of a frighteningly large stuffed pig. he might as well have given me a live giant squid, seeing as how i'd likely know more about what to do with that. oddly enough pigpig quickly became indispensible on lonely nights when warm carbohydrates and photoshop are scant comforts, and something about the long empty corridors of hall makes me hold my bladder until the last possible minute. thats nearly every night. thanks. it makes me miss you, you idiot.

michael schumacher is at home, in the kitchen. my dad loves him; feeds him tons of worms everyday.

thursday 29june, 2006

CRAPANATHAN. ive run out of pads.
crazy hormones are turning me into a monstrous, over-enthusiastic kitten. i need to trawl for some lovin. i had some lovin earlier, bullying a plate of chocolate icecream and brownies into submission, and later feeling miserable at the burgeoning wad of flab orbiting my middle parts. then i cut my fringe, dyke-short, by sad accident.

had a very fruitless jam with the boys earlier today. im creatively very very frustrated.

bangkok was very fine. only i came home unused to a country where one does not bargain with cabbies nor buy beer for less than 2 bucks a pop, or wonder suspiciously at every tall lady with a deep voice and slightly fuzzy legs.

wednesday 28june, 2006

heres bangkok, you voyeuristic monkeys-

sunday 18june, 2006

THE GREAT BANGKOKUS!
back the 24th. pipi and rara i'll pack some lovely thai boys back for you

wednesday 14june, 2006

gollywolly, i helped draw that!
friday i sit in the office for the last time; monday my monkey ass flies to bangkok. i'll be back saturday night, and roaring to start work on a billion new projects.

i dreamt i was holding gabriel in my arms, and someone was telling me: you say its wrong, but at some level you believed it was actually okay. i was in a mad rage, crying and screaming and feeling like my hart would burst. so much for hour-long bus rides.

sunday 11june, 2006

i had to laugh while i was inking these.

sunday 4june, 2006

o, give me coffee or give me electrocution. peds to paint, foc webbies to plot, an fyp to fret, a bangkok to conquer, ten thousand other small projects and not enough waking hours in a day. sisi gallbladder has hauled her skinny bottom back to sg, and WE MUST GO GIG-TRAWLING SOON DARRRLINK! muumuumuu. i love your necklace-thing and ive been wearing that pink shirt to death.

i pocketed some extra bucks door-bitching at zouk after work last thursday and almost had a hernia removing myself from the bed the next morning.

weekend ruminations- everybody has a limp, some sort of personal fraility; her depression, his temptations, her guilt, his grief. all the bible heroes had their limps, so weakness is no excuse for mediocrity. eh?

saturday 27may, 2006

the angriest fish in the world lives in my room, shits very angrily into the bottom of an oddly-shaped glass tank and gives the angry EYE OF DOOM to anything that moves where he can see it. michael schumacher the betta, he glowers at me while i work at my desk everyday. when i feed him worms he attacks the chopstick.

some time ago, birdus and i wandered into an aquarium in clementi and bought two of the angriest animals in the shop: a small red lobster that was grabbing, treading and crapping over all his tankmates, and a purple-blue fighting fish that nearly exploded when we pointed a finger at his jar. we put them in the same tank. 3 days later the lobster died.

bird flushed its angry body down the toilet bowl.

tuesday 16may, 2006

glorious days! joyce gallbladder has landed, with an extremely cute vidalsassoon haircut. w the anus is back too! gallbladders, appendixes, kkjs and random band friends had a celebratory excursion to bar none yesterday where furniture was gigging. HEE QUANYI WHEN WILL YOU BE BACK? i miss the gallbladder days like crazy pisai hell:

the crossroads ped; have a lookit-

last saturday ianster, birdus and i disregarded the weather report and tripped down to pulau ubin, where we were promptly rained on. ive realised, im generally happiest in wet, grubby and wild places, and maybe thats why the urinarytractinfection haha. and then a post-ubin gig at substation, gra!!

wednesday 10may, 2006

hullo from painful pee city. ive got a very undelightful disease. URINARY TRACT INFECTION (which is apparently also acquired by 1 in 5 women, and caused by strange bacteria falling down my very unlovely intestines and accumulating around some unlovely blockage, and then exploding into one million shards of unlovely pain when i pee)! grand. how unrokstar.

folks dont know whether to say 'erm, ok' or 'oh you poor thing' or 'eeeew' when i tell them. haha! the meds cost 60ish bucks (two working days' pay), gah.

anyhow, im going to stay in and finish the crossroads pedal. im always giving rui overdue work, thats not gotta be good for business. hahar

saturday 6may, 2006

nothing makes your tiddly heart jump quicker than moving house in a thunderstorm.
im getting baptised tommorrow!

monday 1may, 2006

i’ll tell her how easily you overdose on caffeine
and japanese seaweed makes you puke
so pick them out of your miso soup
you like your music loud, chinese and played on loop
you could eat ban mian for a week and not hate it
you secretly long for the entire collection of foxtrot
you prefer dogs to cats
always proof read your essays because they’ll be riddled with grammar mistakes
you like long hot walks and waking up before the sun
your eyebrows will need frequent trimming
you’re inclined to random farts in public places
and you fold the cutest paper hearts
sometimes you don’t bathe before you go to bed
you kick in your sleep
and you don’t celebrate anniversaries or valentines’ day

you’ll tell him
i act tough but i’m afraid of the dark
and i would cross the road to avoid a cockroach
i sometimes cry in my sleep
i like my ba chor mee without chilli, just white
and always keep some chocolate in my fridge
i’ve a tendency to oversleep, hit walls and curse like a sailor when i get mad
i don’t mind long walks but i hate waking up before the sun
hold my hand when we jaywalk
i don’t respect traffic lights
i live on hugs
i hate to be told what to do
i don’t celebrate anniversaries or valentines’ day
and i don’t do sorrys, or thank yous, or goodbyes very well

so i’ll see you around, and maybe miss you some.

sunday 30april, 2006

i am spending the weekend sick, quietly combusting in my room. last night while being grandly delirious at 39 odd degrees i dreamt bird came to my room and hosed me down with icy water. it wasn’t a dream, except instead of water he’d stuck cold pad-things to my head. i had more dreams, it was like wading through thick black mud, seeing castles and roads and stone rooms in the sky and distorted, vaguely familar faces.

i woke up the afternoon and discovered all the clinics in jurongpoint were closed. so i went back and finished up min's sneakers